Cass.

Been watching the half blood prince over and over again in anticipation for deathly hallows pt. 1. Had a dream that after Dumbledore was killed I stabbed Malfoy in the back with the sword harry uses to kill the basilisk in his second year. I don’t know why. Then without uttering a sound I used a spell that knocked out all of the death eaters. If you read Harry Potter you’ll know why not saying the spell out loud is a significant skill. 

Obviously, I should have been born a witch.

Being a muggle sucks. 

OK, i’m running on 4 hours of sleep.

Le result is the last post.

I want my mountain man, but he’ll never come see me.

If you’re going to bitch about what other people get as a tattoo… You’re a fucking idiot. 

Everyone is getting a cherry blossom tattoo wawawa, you don’t have one do you? Then shut the fuck up. Honestly, you know how many people have XXX tattooed on them? You don’t hear them bitching. Oh wait, what about day of the dead tattoos, or tattoos of the world, or tattoos of bows, or bird tattoos. 

I have had my tattoo for almost 2 years, and you don’t see me bitching that everyone wants it done. Illiterate, pathetic, obnoxious, wastes of life, I will fucking kill you.

I can now play

Trouble by nevershoutnever Oh, this is love by hellogoodbye And White horse by taylor swift on the ukulele.

So happy… But now my voice is failing me more and more each day i talk. All i want to do is cuddle… School work is getting in the way of this. College is a waste of time and money, especially if you’re self motivated. Maybe i dont need education. Information is all around me; in this day and age teaching yourself what you want to know is the everyday. Jeff is finally getting his stuff together and in two weeks will be able to talk to me about gettin my other side done… Super stoked.

Anyway, having mad sinus headaches everyday and the recent health problems ive been having has become a huge downer. On the upside i have saved a ton of money and am now sitting on a meager 500 cushiony dollars(by switching to gieco). It feels good to know i have money in case of an emergency.

Ok im done for now. Exhausted, cranky, cuddly, not witty at all today, sent from my iphone…

Today I had 4 hours of sleep, therefore, my thoughts are an enigma.

Goodnight at 9:29PM. I shall have more cohesive thoughts tomorrow.

My fingers burn from practicing my uke nonstop. I know two songs and I plan on learning as much as possible! Having a boyfriend that has played the guitar for his whole life is convenient for learning as well. I thoroughly enjoy dis. Yes, dis be true.

This has been a real rough week on me.

Hahahahaha my mom says “I hope there are no consequences too your actions” because I have to drive to drop Matt off at the dentist so he can get his wisdom tooth removed. 

What, are you wishing a car accident on me? If that happened and I died, I would be in hell laughing my ass off at how sad you’d be and the last thing I said to you was, “I cannot talk to you anymore, you have stressed me and frustrated me beyond believe, goodnight.” 

I almost hope it happens. 

The Irony!

Doesn’t everyone love payday? 

Thats a huge relief for me.

Never ordering anything offline ever again. UPS man stole my package and never left a notice so I am now canceling my other things on backorder. I just want my fucking money back. When I don’t come to pick it up in 15 days they will send it back to the sender and i’ll get my money back, if I do not get my money back I love sending shit letters and I also love threatening to sue. 

I’ve been abnormally sad lately. This is making me boring to be around. I think (among other personal reasons) it’s partly this weather. Or i’d just like to blame it on the weather, either way, can it just be fucking winter already? I’d like to know whether or not I should bring out the hoodies, cuz I have all the wrong shoes for this season. 

I need retail therapy.

There’s oil pant underneath my finger nails. I don’t have any credit left on my credit card because my fine arts class has caused me to spend 200$ in two weeks. Luckily my paycheck is in the 400s. But thats not gonna be every time. Victorias secret owes me 96 dollars of which I have yet to see. But I just returned the package monday so perhaps I wouldn’t get any notice until next week… Still. 100 to credit card is not enough, but if i pay 200 I won’t have enough to last me the rest of the month (or be able to buy new socks which i desperately need). I am feeling really down in the dumps. 

Today I thought about dropping out of school. Art school is too expensive for me and I don’t want to pay off loans the rest of my life. I also think that school is a waste of fucking time. I have all the resources I could ever need to teach myself. I think i’d save so much money… I can’t save any now. I’ll never get my boobs done when I get out of college, hasta luego. I have a cramp in my wrist, should we call it quits? 

I hope tomorrow doesn’t suck. 15 more dollars down the drain on a project I am going to throw out after this year. 

Things are looking down, real down. 

The Uke I owe Alex 10 for is broken.

I can smell my feet.

Honey mustard and onion pretzel pieces for breakfast… 

I’m going to starve to death, BUT THEY TASTE SO DELISH!!!!!

I have to learn to eat. My parents are always right to worry about me eating because today I almost fainted walking up the 4 flights of stairs to get to my class in the morning. 

So things I’m going to try to eat everyday starting tomorrow:

-Apples

-Peanut butter

-Strawberries

-Grapes

-Deli Meats

-Protein bars

-Fiber bars

I’m not sure what else is a good idea to eat thats healthy for you, apparently the last couple of days i’ve been running on just empty carbs and no water! So tomorrow when Alex and Preston come over they are too accompany me to Lancaster’s amish market and help me pick out fresh produce and then I’m cooking us all stuffed shells with spinach and low fat ricotta and turkey meat in pasta sauce! 

I’ve never done stuffed shells before but apparently its not that hard. And I have to able bodied men to help me that i’m sure have cooked before… Maybe hahaha. Tomorrow is gonna be fun!

I just don’t really know if you’re giving me your all.

Everyone thinks i’m a lesbian… wut? 

… Is it the hair, honestly? Hahahahaha

Today was so rare, I absolutely treasure days like today. My day flew past, and work is as enjoyable as ever. I would hate to think, that as much as I enjoy working with everyone, that everyone doesn’t enjoy working with me. But thats just the way things go I guess. Today I missed my boyfriend a lot. When I’m having so much fun I wish I had someone to enjoy it with rather than just myself. But that is a good and bad thing. Although I feel close to so many people at work, it just doesn’t beat feeling like we can hang out outside of le work place. I’d love to be able to hang out with my friends and my boyfriend at the same time, but that just isn’t possible. 

I have concluded that I am in love with Mr. Knightley from Emma. But I’m only in love with him because he’s a gentleman. If I were to meet Mr. Knightley in real life I wonder if I would chew him up and spit him out. I feel like Scarlett O’Hara in many ways in the fact that I need so much love in order to love in return. But I don’t believe thats because, like Scarlett, I am incredibly selfish. I need so much love because I give so much love. I need to be constantly shown, reminded, and told that I am always a huge part of someone’s life. But I seem to only impact my close friends lives for a very short time before they drift apart from me and attach to someone else. This is a common occurrence that has been bothering me a lot lately. 

Anyway, now that I have rambled on as i love to do, lets get back to the main point. Life is ridiculously good, but slightly unsatisfying. I’d like to shake things up. I need new. New friends, new places to paint, and by all means PLEASE SOMEONE GIVE ME A GOOD BOOK. Does anyone realize how many times I have read Emma? What is this, the 5th or 6th time?… Oh well. The best i’ll get is probably a good day to myself where I can take a long walk in the fall for hot coffee and settle myself in the snow for a good 3 hours and paint. I guess I’m satisfied with that. I’m curious to feel what its like to be alone, but I’m not ready or willing and my heart tells me no. No, because I love you.

Thats one good looking car…